《人间失格》｜回首前尘，尽是可耻的过往

　　人间失格02:56来自LearningYard学苑胆小鬼连幸福都会害怕，碰到棉花都会受伤。有时也会被幸福所伤。

　　《人间失格》是日本“无赖派”作家太宰治（1909.6.19—1948.6.13）的未完遗作。1948年着手创作，同年随着肺结核的恶化，身体极度虚弱，时常吐血。六月三十日深夜，和情人山崎富荣在玉川上水投水自尽。小说多为作者自我生活的真实写照，描写主角从青少年到中年，为了逃避现实而不断沉沦，经历自我放逐、酗酒、自杀、用药物麻痹自己，终于一步步走向自我毁灭的悲剧，在自我否定的过程中，抒发自己内心深处的苦闷，以及渴望被爱的情愫。

　　2019年有一段时间十分流行这本书，于是有些看完这本书的人都会发出这样的感叹“生而为人我很抱歉”，不明所以的人跟风表达自己的看法，连主人公的名字都没记清楚的人也在网上无病呻吟。我于2018年购入这本书，曾经多次拿起，但都没有勇气读下去，多是只读开篇几页便不愿继续下去，一是怕影响当前的心境，二是还没有对作者以及该篇小说的创作背景有足够多的了解，害怕误入歧途。前段时间再次拾起这本书，不能说是完全理解了其中深意，但至少引起了些许共鸣。

　　恐惧社交，拼命搞笑，而内心又极度厌恶这样的自己。不可否认，世界的每个地方都存在这样的边缘人，他们想要得到救赎，可无论如何都得不到，而唯一的救赎就是死亡。主人公大庭叶藏虽生在富裕家庭，但从未得到过关爱。因为排行老幺，吃饭时只能坐在饭桌旁阴暗的角落。想要一本书作为礼物，却激怒了父亲。他厌倦这个阴暗的世界，恐惧人类，不知道如何与旁人交流，于是想到了一个他认为极好的办法——拼命地搞笑。为了避免尴尬的场面，为了逃脱别人的指责，为了获取他人的信任，他俨然成为了一个搞笑大师。同时他的内心依然不安，害怕有人戳穿他，揭开戴在他脸上的面具，使绝望的脸暴露在众目睽睽之下。

　　Cowards are afraid of happiness and hurt when they encounter cotton. Sometimes I will be hurt by happiness.

　　"Human disqualification" is the unfinished work of Japanese "rogue" writer taizai Zhi (1909.6.19-1948.6.13). He began to write in 1948. In the same year, with the deterioration of tuberculosis, he was extremely weak and often vomited blood. Late at night on June 30, he and his lover Furong Yamazaki drowned themselves in the upper water of Yuchuan. Most of the novels are the true portrayal of the author's self life. They describe the protagonist from adolescence to middle age, who goes through the tragedy of self exile, alcoholism, suicide and drug paralysis, and finally goes to self destruction step by step. In the process of self denial, they express their deep depression and desire to be loved.

　　I'm very sorry that the protagonist of this book didn't know his or her name after reading it. I bought this book in 2018. I picked it up many times, but I didn't have the courage to read it. Most of them read only the first few pages of the book, and then I didn't want to go on. One is that I was afraid of affecting my current mood. The other is that I didn't know enough about the author and the background of the novel, and I was afraid of going astray. Picking up this book again some time ago can't be said to fully understand its profound meaning, but at least it has aroused some resonance.

　　Fear of social, desperately funny, and the heart is extremely disgusted with such yourself. It is undeniable that there are such marginal people everywhere in the world. They want to get salvation, but they can't get it anyway, and the only salvation is death. Although the protagonist, ye Zang, was born in a wealthy family, he has never been cared for. Because the youngest, when eating, can only sit at the table in the dark corner. Wanting a book as a gift angered my father. He was tired of the dark world, afraid of human beings, and didn't know how to communicate with others, so he thought of an excellent way to make fun of himself. In order to avoid embarrassing scenes, to escape other people's criticism, to gain other people's trust, he seems to become a funny master. At the same time, his heart is still uneasy, afraid that someone will expose him, uncover the mask on his face, and expose the face of despair to the public.

　　参考资料：百度百科，知乎

　　翻译：Google翻译

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