【鲜菇杂谈】一个光棍在光棍节应有的修养丨内有福利

栏目：生活资讯时间：2023-07-24

手机版

　　当代杜牧1分钟前

　　“光棍时节雪纷纷，剩男剩女欲断魂。

　　借问店家何处有，淘宝商城嗯呐亲。”

　　这首改编自唐代诗人杜牧的某才子的新时代佳作可谓道出了今天这个重大节日里大多数光棍们的真实内心。

　　又是一年双十一，我啥也没买。光棍节，中国人的购物狂欢节，啥也不买，能不能做一个开心的光棍？

　　答案是：能。

　　为了给众多自愿非自愿当光棍的群众们写这篇小文，我搜索了外网，看了看西方同志们对于光棍们应该如何开心活下去的方法。

　　读了几篇，发现都不咋靠谱，大多是打了鸡血的鸡汤，而且是大家喝过无数次却也不怎么见效的那种。

　　然而，我依旧要分享给你们看看，鸡汤毕竟是鸡汤，在这个入夜渐微凉的初冬，来一碗还是必要的。

　　接下来的内容，英文部分节选自http://angelamariepatnode.com/7-tips-to-living-a-happy-single-life/，中文部分是我的翻译。

　　所以，我们到底如何避免在孤独又贫穷得无法购物的光棍节、无数个单身的日日夜夜里纵情狂欢，不再顾影自怜？

　　下面有7个小建议：

　　1. Stop the negative thinking. 停止消极想法

　　”Poor me. I’m single and everyone else around me is in relationship and they are ALL happier than me. Being single sucks.” This thought alone will keep you in the “being single sucks” mentality. It’s time to get out of it. When that thought comes in, tell it to stop. You are making assumptions that others are happy – remember that we all put on a happy face culturally, but it’s not necessarily the truth. There are many of people miserable and/or lonely in a relationship – I know, I used to be one of them.

　　“我真惨啊！没对象，身边的人都成双入对，比我快乐多了。单身真倒霉！”这种想法本身就会让你陷于“单身真倒霉”的消极思维中。

　　该走出来了。当那种想法出现的时候，告诉自己停下来。你以为别人是快乐的—其实我们经常出于礼貌摆出一副开心的样子，但是很多时候那只是伪装。

　　许多人处在痛苦而孤独的恋爱关系中，因为我曾经就如此。

　　2. Create a healthy relationship with yourself. 跟自己建立一个健康的关系

　　Say, “I am complete and whole as I am” to yourself at the start of everyday. You are complete and whole as you are in a relationship or single – the choice is yours whether you see this or not.

　　在每一天的开始对自己说：“我是完整的，我就是我自己。” 无论你在恋爱还是单身，你都是完整的—不管你是否能看清这一点，选择权都在你。

　　3. Build your tribe. 建立自己的圈子

　　Call people who you want to spend time with, don’t just expect others to reach out to you. Other people want to know that they are cared about too – and you can provide that care. Make plans with them. Don’t waste your time and energy trying to connect with people who are regularly “too busy.”

　　给你想要与其一起消磨时光的人打电话，不要指望着别人主动联系你。别人也想得到你的关怀，而且你是能够提供这样的关怀的，跟他们约起来。

　　不要把时间浪费在总是说“我很忙”的人身上。

　　4. Make plans for the evening. 为夜晚的时光做规划

　　Take a weekly creative art class, make a dinner plan, attend a community event, go to yoga, and more. I have 3 of my week nights planned with events that get me outside of my house (I work from home). They help me feel connected to people, laugh, and learn something new.

　　上上创意艺术课，写一个晚餐菜单，参加一个社区活动，练练瑜伽或者其他。

　　我每周有三天的晚上都会出去（我在家办公）。这些外出的夜晚让我和人们建立起了联系，我开心地学到了新东西。

　　5. Have a pet. 养个宠物

　　Pets are one of the best parts of being human – I believe! Coming home to a live being is incredibly fun and feeds that part of your heart that wants to love. My cat Dave greets me at the door every time I come in, he greets me in the morning when I wake up, and he’s always happy to be petted. He’s truly been one of the greatest gifts for opening my heart. If you’re allergic to furred animals – get a goldfish!

　　能够拥有宠物是人类最幸福的事了—我坚信这一点！回到家拥抱一个生物真的太有趣了，也能够填补内心缺爱的角落。

　　我的猫咪Dave在我每天回家的时候呆在门口欢迎我，我早上醒来的时候它会问候我，而且，它特别喜欢我的爱抚。它是打开我内心的最棒的礼物之一。

　　如果你对猫毛过敏可以养一条金鱼。

　　6. Be present while you eat. 充分享受美食

　　Eating can be one of the “lonely” times being single. Choose it as a time to be present with your food. Look at your food, smell your food, enjoy the taste of your food. And finally, thank your food for sustaining your body.

　　吃饭是单身人士们最孤独的时刻了。把这些时光充分利用起来，欣赏你的食物、感受它们的香气，品尝它们的美味。

　　最后，感谢治愈你身体的这些美食吧。

　　7. Know that you’re not alone. 要知道，你不是一个人

　　There are more and more people choosing the single lifestyle. They are choosing to not settle for less in a relationship, and finding happiness on their own – you can too. Don’t stay in an unhealthy relationship or search for a partner just to fill the “hole” inside you, because the hole isn’t going to be filled by them. It’s the hole of not feeling enough, that only YOU can fill by seeing and knowing that you’re enough as you are – with or without a partner.

　　越来越多的人自愿单身。他们选择不再为了恋爱而恋爱，而是独自寻找幸福。你也可以。

　　不要在一段不健康的关系中停留，也不要为了填补内心的空虚去找另一半，因为这个空虚是不会被这些人填满的。

　　这份空虚来自于不满足，只有你自己才能去填满，而且你只要做自己就足够了，有没有伴侣都没关系。